Ministry flows through the touch of Spirit to Spirit relationships. Let me show you something. In verses 24 to 26 of 2 Timothy Chapter 2, the scripture talks about this commandment to those of us who are servants of God. It says that the servant of the Lord must not strive. He must not get involved in an argument. In James 3:16 we find that strife produces confusion and opens us to every evil work. If you allow yourself to be drawn into an argument with somebody, we do not minister life to them. We have simply opened their lives up to confusion and every evil work.
It’s not only useless, but it is actually destructive for us to ever allow someone to suck us into an argument about the truths of the gospel. We will never win anything. We will loose because we will open that person to confusion and every evil work. Furthermore, we open ourself to those things as well. We’ll walk away from the conversation confused and attacked by evil. The servant of the Lord must not argue.
In 2 Timothy 2:25 of the King James translation, we find a really precious bit of advice related to this issue. It’s about dealing with a man who is in “opposition to himself”. What does it mean “a man who is in opposition to himself?”
My wife and I have raised 5 children. When my son was around 10 or 11, we were at a home group meeting of the congregation. All the adults were in the big room where the Pastor was pontificating about the morning message. The children had all been cast out into outer darkness where they were to play or watch TV and do such things that would not disturb the adults; a common practice that I do not recommend.
All of a sudden, out in the other room there arose such a clatter that I went to the door to see what was the matter. I discovered that my son was involved in a heated dispute with the Pastor’s daughter. If I’ve ever seen a no-win situation, this was it. I took him outside so that he could cool off a bit and suddenly it was one of those God moments.
We began to talk and I turned to him at one point in the conversation and I said, “Son, do you really want to be a man of God? Now before you answer son, don’t say what you think I want to hear. Think for yourself for a moment. Make a decision for yourself. Is this really what you personally want? If you don’t want it, that’s okay. I just want to know what you really want.” He paused and he thought, and he said, “Dad, I really do want to become a man of God.”
From that moment on, I have been able to help him through many difficult situations. I can sit down with him and say “Son, if you continue on your present course of action, you are fighting against the thing you said you want for your life, which is to become a man of God.” I can show him how he may be in opposition to himself. When you can show a man how he is in opposition to himself, then you are in a position to empower him make the decision that he needs to make so that he can be the man he wants to be.
Hear me! We don’t have the authority, not in heaven and not on earth, to make any man go where he doesn’t want to go. We can’t get somebody saved who doesn’t want to be saved. We can’t make someone a disciple who doesn’t want to be a disciple. God honors our humanity and he has given us the right to make our own decisions about our lives. If we try to take that away from someone by manipulating him, pressuring him and putting all our religious guilt trips on him, all we will do is drive him further and further away from the Kingdom of God.
There’s a really simple starting point for the whole process of sharing the good news of Jesus. That starting point is to love people. If you don’t know how to love people, there are two things that are true. One is that you don’t know how much you are loved and the other is you’re not really thinking about other people. If you can love people and you can’t do anything else, that’s a great ministry because it is the goodness of God that brings men to repentance. It’s pouring out the love of God on them lavishly that brings men to repentance. It’s not our judgment; it’s not our doctrine; it’s not our speeches; it’s not our tracts; it’s not our church meetings; it’s NONE of that! It’s the goodness of God that brings men to repentance. So hear me and hear the Lord. The way the world will know that Jesus has come, is that they will experience the love. Learn to love people.
The starting point for loving people is in learning to selflessly listen to them. Let yourself listen to people without trying to formulate your answers while they are still talking. If they ask you questions, let yourself give honest personal answers. Let people see the real you. Listen to the people to hear their history. Genuinely care about the things they see as problems. Stop expecting people to think, or act or feel like you.
Strong relationships are not built in a few moments or even in a few days. They take time and nurturing.
All relationships remain fragile. In particular, they are always vulnerable to being shattered by a breech of trust. Remember the Scriptures teach us: things which are done in secret will be shouted from the house tops. If we want to assure that a relationship will be broken, begin to talk about the other person behind his back. Trust can be destroyed in a moment but can take a lifetime to rebuild.
There are some relationships that become joints in the Body of Christ. They are sovereignly ordained by God. Sometimes we will meet someone and we feel like we have known them for years in the first few minutes we are together. We can almost hear the pop as the joint is put in place.
The stronger the bridge of relationship the greater the weight of ministry that can flow across it.
His-Family 